Making Space

To discover beauty in the stillness

I am wedged into the T - Boston's subway - during a weekday evening rush hour. The B line is predictably packed, with BU students going to and fro. I squeeze in, and get firmly bumped further into the train car as more people cram onboard - weary work commuters mixed with buoyant students. Everyone wants to get home. No one wants to wait. I don't blame them. I am knocked off balance and just manage to grab a rail as the train lurches, squeals forward. After a few minutes of bracing through the turns - being pressed against the other passengers doesn't give me room to move - I feel anxious and claustrophobic. I can feel the sweat beads forming, and try to take a few deep breaths.

While I sometimes took the T for my Fenway-to-Chinatown commute as a grad student, most days I opted for the freedom (and excitement) of riding my bike. I upgraded from a hybrid to a road bike so I could squeeze in between cars. :)

Despite a bit of anxiety, I was ok being packed like a sardine on the subway once in awhile. Most of us are. What we don't realize is that many of us are doing this to ourselves, every. single. day. Packing in our schedule. And we're feeling it - the toll of constantly living without breathing room.

We are short on space. But nearly everything needs space to flourish, room to breathe.

Plants need space around them for their roots to spread out. Employees don't do well when micromanaged. Kids don't thrive when their parents are controlling and overbearing. We need some space. Space in the schedule. Space in the year for vacation. Space in the week for a break. Space in the day to breathe.

Space is rest. Space is room to be. To grow. To flourish. Connect. Unfold. To become.

Other countries observe that we are always on the move, obsessed with work and productivity. Our breathing is shallow and rushed. What are we breathless for? Did we stop to think: what is the goal of our hustle, our flurry of activity? What are we building - with our businesses, our churches, our families? Why is the goal always bigger, faster, more?

Or are we going just to go? Because that is what everyone else is doing? We're vulnerable to what others are doing. Very vulnerable. Programmed to fit in, to go along, not question the narrative.

Or are we just doing it to prove ourselves. Prove our worth. Look good. Impress someone?

We are doing it because we must. We feel driven. Compelled. We wouldn't say we are fearful, but fear drives. Why are you doing it? That thing that is burning you out. Wearing you down. No really, why?

Driven business/whathaveyou professional - what an impressive resume starter. We glorify the drive.

We are busy. Busy is our god. Not productive so much as busy. And we pat ourselves on the back for that. And our boss gives us the nod - they see we are so very busy. And with that little dopamine hit, we continue.

But without space, we will not thrive. Because we're not designed to fill every cramped moment.

Fear drives, but faith leads. And in the leading, grace meets us to accomplish it.

So can we....

Hold space. To be. To exist. To dream. To unwind. Unfold. To rest.

Maybe, for just a moment or several we could just stop. Stop the busy. The noise. The activity. We could create space, you know. Some peaceful room for breathing.

No one is going to give you your space back though. You will need to take it. You must take it. To regain yourself.

Do you dare take space? To tell someone:

I won't be able to make it.

I won't be able to do that.

And when you create the space, could you be in the space? Rather than filling it with more activity. Because we are programmed in the buzz. And it is killing us, and our families, and our communities. We are creating impressive-looking, perfect -looking things, performances and we are eroding.

There is a rest for the people of God.

-Hebrews 4:9

And with that rest, may we build with patience and purpose.